Here’s what you need to know to make your relationship a source of strength, joy and fulfillment that powers your life.

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• What if you felt that you and your partner spoke the same language and really “got” each other like no one else in the world?

• Your relationship would feel so close and connected. It would be a source of light and joy in your life.

• You’d trust each other implicitly.

• You’d be kind to each other no matter what, and wouldn’t dream of cutting each other down with sarcasm or insults.

• You would feel completely safe to share with your partner whatever thoughts, secrets or dreams that your soul held. And they would feel equally safe to be forthcoming with you.

• You’d have your private jokes…

• Your cute nicknames for each other…

• You’d have the knowing glances whenever something happened that only the two of you understood as amusing.

• You’d have so much fun being observers of life and discovering something new about each other every day.

• Every moment you’d spend together would make you feel alive and hopeful.

• What would it take to have that kind of relationship?

• And why don’t you have that kind of relationship now?

• You may think the reason you aren’t feeling this way now is because there’s something wrong with your partner, such as stubbornness, an inability to compromise, or a fundamental fault of character.

• Maybe you worry that the love you have isn’t what it used to be. Or you may think you aren’t that compatible as a couple after all.

• I can understand why you’d think that.

• That’s because I’ve spent more than 40 years listening to couples tell me the reasons they THINK their love has gotten damaged. They think it’s fighting, cheating or lying.

• But I can tell you that the reason most couples drift apart or fail to understand one another is NEVER what they think it is.