THE PARTNER WHO SEEKS THERAPY IS THE MOST MOTIVATED REASONS THAT OTHER COMES IN: THREATENED BY POTENTIAL LOSS FEAR OF EXCLUSION AND CONSPIRACY FEAR OF WHAT MIGHT COME OUT HOPING FOR RESOLUTION BUT NOT COMMITTED
COUPLES THERAPY HAS TO HAVE EVERYONE ON THE SAME PAGE. LETTING GO OF PAST ANGER, HURT, RESENTMENTS WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND PRACTICE NEW SKILLS COMMITTED TO THE PROCESS ACCOUNTABILITY AND MOTIVATION
BOTH MAY APPEAR FULLY INVOLVED IN THE THERAPEUTIC ENVIRONMENT BUT THE PARTNER “FORCED IN” MAY HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT BEING THERE AND WILL CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY SABOTAGE THE PROCESS WHEN AWAY FROM THAT ENVIRONMENT. OR, THE RETICENT PARTNER MAY HAVE OTHER THINGS GOING ON THAT HE OR SHE CAN’T SHARE. THE RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T SEEM TO BE GETTING ANY BETTER AND THE ENERGY IN THE ROOM IS DECREASING. IT IS CRUCIAL TO IDENTIFY WHATEVER SABOTAGING BEHAVIORS MAY BE GOING ON TO TURN THINGS AROUND.
IF YOU ARE THAT SABOTAGING PARTNER, UNWITTINGLY OR PURPOSEFULLY, YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF: ARE YOU HIDING ANYTHING FROM YOURSELF OR YOUR PARTNER ARE YOU FIGHTING THE PROCESS BECAUSE YOU ARE CONFLICTED ABOUT STAYING IN THE RELATIONSHIP AT ALL? ARE YOU TRYING TO BEHAVE AS YOU THINK YOU SHOULD, RATHER THAN HOW YOU REALLY FEEL? DO YOU FEAR THAT THERAPY IS OPENING UP “A CAN OF WORMS,” BETTER LEFT ALONE?
HERE ARE THE 8 MOST COMMON SABOTAGING BEHAVIORS THAT YOU MAY BE EXHIBITING.