COUPLES COME INTO THERAPY
TO RESOLVE A CRISIS WITHIN OR WITHOUT
TO BETTER THEIR RELATIONSHIP
TO SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP
EACH HAS THEIR OWN PERSPECTIVE AND EXPECTATIONS
SOON INTO THE SESSION, THEY BECOME ENGULFED IN A PERSISTENT INTERACTION PATTERN THAT SABOTAGES ANY HOPE OF RESOLUTION.
VERY OFTEN THEY DON’T EVEN REALIZE THEY ARE DOING IT BUT PEOPLE AROUND THEM ARE PARENTS HAD THE SAME PROBLEM
TRAUMA TRIGGERS
DEFENSIVENESS – ONE PERSON’S TRUTH INVALIDATES THE OTHER’S
A VERY DEEP RUT EASY TO FALL INTO
ALL PERSPECTIVE GONE EXCEPT THE ONE THEY ARE BOTH LOCKED IN TO
I CAN USUALLY IDENTIFY THESE COMMUNICATION GRIDLOCKS RELATIVELY SOON AND POINT THEM OUT. COUPLES ARE USUALLY GRATEFUL AND WANT TO CHANGE THEM EASY FOR THEM TO SEE THAT THEY ARE SABOTAGING ANY HOPE OF SOLUTION. IN ORDER FOR THEM TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE AND NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED, I POINT OUT SOME OF THE MORE COMMON GRIDLOCKS SOMETIMES THEY CAN FIND THEMSELVES IN ONE OF THESE PATTERNS BUT CAN SEE THE PATTERN SEPARATELY FROM THE ISSUE AT HAND.
THE TEN MOST COMMON COMMUNICATION GRIDLOCKS