COMMUNICATION GRIDLOCKS – NO-WIN INTERACTION PATTERNS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6oZyPAo3X8

COUPLES COME INTO THERAPY

TO RESOLVE A CRISIS WITHIN OR WITHOUT

TO BETTER THEIR RELATIONSHIP

TO SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP

EACH HAS THEIR OWN PERSPECTIVE AND EXPECTATIONS

SOON INTO THE SESSION, THEY BECOME ENGULFED IN A PERSISTENT INTERACTION PATTERN THAT SABOTAGES ANY HOPE OF RESOLUTION.

VERY OFTEN THEY DON’T EVEN REALIZE THEY ARE DOING IT BUT PEOPLE AROUND THEM ARE PARENTS HAD THE SAME PROBLEM

TRAUMA TRIGGERS

DEFENSIVENESS – ONE PERSON’S TRUTH INVALIDATES THE OTHER’S

A VERY DEEP RUT EASY TO FALL INTO

ALL PERSPECTIVE GONE EXCEPT THE ONE THEY ARE BOTH LOCKED IN TO

I CAN USUALLY IDENTIFY THESE COMMUNICATION GRIDLOCKS RELATIVELY SOON AND POINT THEM OUT. COUPLES ARE USUALLY GRATEFUL AND WANT TO CHANGE THEM EASY FOR THEM TO SEE THAT THEY ARE SABOTAGING ANY HOPE OF SOLUTION. IN ORDER FOR THEM TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE AND NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED, I POINT OUT SOME OF THE MORE COMMON GRIDLOCKS SOMETIMES THEY CAN FIND THEMSELVES IN ONE OF THESE PATTERNS BUT CAN SEE THE PATTERN SEPARATELY FROM THE ISSUE AT HAND.

THE TEN MOST COMMON COMMUNICATION GRIDLOCKS